Random news from the US and our Birthday/ Sci-Fi Weekend

So I was reading an article on a current case in the States about little Sammy Nikolayev being removed from his parents care because they wanted to get a second medical opinion. It is sad to think about anyone loosing their child because they are trying to do what is best for them.

If you want more info click here.

Sci-Fi On the Rock 7

Sci-Fi On the Rock 7 this past weekend, busy but fun with all the kiddos. I have been going since the beginning, even last year when I had to run back and forth to the hospital to BF the girls.

Sci- Fi On the Rock 1

Sci-Fi On the Rock 2 (Rhys helped with the costume)

Sci-Fi On the Rock 4 (not sure where my pic of 3 is)

Sci-Fi On the Rock 5

Sci-Fi On the Rock 6

Gwen & Avery at Sci-Fi On the Rock 7 in costume at a panel 

We had a busy weekend, Rhys' 5th birthday was a success for him. He had fun! 

some gifts and loot boxes 

all the boxes put together and stacked 

Rhys 

"It's me Mario!"

Opening gifts

what about mama?

I've been asked in real life, Erin why haven't you shared many current images of you? Love the kiddos and all, but it would be nice to see/hear more about you.

Its hard to think about putting up current pics. I'm usually alone, so I take pics of the kids. Or if daddy is home, I take pics of him and the kids. I know I could make the effort to take more of me too, and I should, but I am in the midst of loosing weight and am at the awkward in-between stage. If I stick at this weight much longer, I will take pics. In-fact due to the Ninja's 5th birthday this weekend, there will be pics of me then. I won't remove myself from the kids pics and deprive them of memories of their mama.

Most times when I put up a pic of the kids its just a hay I should put a pic up, I know I have one of the kids!

I should post a pic of the work I'm doing on Rhys' loot bags(boxes).

16 of these bad boys latter... 

  Joys of a themed birthday and you can't find what you want! Imagine what I would have had to do if the first half wasn't in the pool.

I'm also swamped with getting ready for Sci-Fi on the rock which is also this weekend. But at least my geekyness is deep seeded

My big brother and I, see look a pic of me! Yes I know he's the one rocking the Superman shirt but it totally counts 

My parents changed our bedtimes so we could watch TNG, as a family we watched marathons of Babylon 5. Our bedtime stories were the Hobbit & Lord of the Rings.

And apparently we are raising the next generation of geeks. When Rhys wasn't even 2 he was making time machines and robots (pretend, I promise if he actually made a time machine the world would know) He gets excited and recognizes Dr. Who (only gets to watch episodes after we do if we think he can) and the Tardis. His bedtime stories are 5 minute Marvel Stories, from me and The Hobbit with daddy. He knows more random comic book stuff then me, and has started playing games on his 3DS that nana give him for Christmas. See she is continuing the trend she started with my brother and I. He also is a classical music & art fan. I can only guess that the girls will be the same given what they are surrounded by. Avery is already a fan of dressing up in "ooh ooh pretty" things and Gwen is so enthusiastic about everything she does. They would make a great cosplaying duo.
But if they are not interested in all things geek that's fine too. Who knows they all could be interested in sports, art, music, theater, math (they will have to call auntie Kelly for help with that one) anything. As long as they are healthy and happy who cares?

MRI

Just got the call Gwen will be getting her MRI this Friday. Mama's a nervous wreck because of the sedation but I know she will be fine.

How do you other mama's deal with sedation?

You think I would be an old pro now given the fact that her brother and sister have had surgeries, and that Gwen was mildly sedated during her first few days on the oscillator. But this feels different for some reason, maybe because she is healthy. Both her siblings surgeries were as safe as surgeries could be, Avery was ill and needed it, Rhys was in pain and needed it. Gwen was extremely ill when sedated before. 

Super heros

Most people spend a lifetime looking for a real life hero...

Halloween 

those who will overcome adversity,

2 year old Rhys 

Avery after PDA surgery 

Gwen 1 day old

And still have a smile on their face.

Avery

Gwen

Avery, Rhys & Gwen

Those who you look up to

No matter how small

Or silly they might be.

Avery

Gwen & Avery 

Rhys

 Those who change you for the better.

Rhys and Mommy - by Darrell Sharpe Photography

Avery & Mommy 

Gwen & Daddy for the first time

I am lucky and blessed to have met three true hero's, and they call me mommy. 

I don't think I could not have overcome what they have lived through in their short lives. 

Even if Gwen is in a grumpy, eat your soul mood 

My babies will be 16 months old tomorrow, and Rhys 5 in a week! Thank you all for being my hero's

more then grilled cheese

Tonight when going to bed Rhys says to me "mommy I love you more then grilled cheese!" 

I said "well that's nice, I know how much you love grilled cheese" the child would eat them for every meal of every day if he was allowed, and often tries to convince me to allow it (or his dad)

Rhys continued "yes mommy, I love you so much more then grilled cheese. I love daddy and my sissies that much too mommy! I love each of you more then grilled cheese!!!!"

"I love you more then grilled cheese too Rhysie, so much more then grilled cheese."


 "then you love me the way you should, and I am lucky to have your love!"





I promise I'll always love you three more then grilled cheese

sleepy Rhysie 

blaw

I hate this time of year! Hate it. Its not quite spring, winter is holding on with its cold frosty grip. The days are still grey and blaw.

Doesn't help that the girls are looking to be having head cold #7 of the season.

Doesn't help that many people I know and love are being effected by a horrible budget.

Doesn't help that after Rhys going to the same daycare since he was 2 he had to give his notice that he was finishing up in June.

Doesn't help that I'm swamped with doctor appointments.

All of this doesn't help.

Wish it was summer, or at least the sun was shining today.

last summer, how I miss thee 

Neurology, hugs, and little NICU friends

Gwen had her neurology appointment yesterday, 3 hours at an appointment is long with a tired little girl. But she did well. Her neurologist was an awesome, sweet, soft spoken, kind man who Gwen loved from the moment he walked in the door! I honestly have to say that having a wonderful doctor can make any appointment so so much better. Even though she was an hour past nap time, Gwen gave him her sweetest smiles and laughter when she got to play with him (I mean who gets to play to diagnose??)

It was decided that she will need to have a MRI. Which means she will have to be sedated for it... Mama isn't looking forward to that, but its better that we know if her ANSD has a physical cause then to guess.

Happily, her neurologist truly believes that she doesn't have any neurological issues (other then the neuropathy) due to her not showing any symptoms of other issues.

early morning riser up for her appointment 

Other then that, missing a lot of people right now. Those living away, or just not seeing them due to life. A lot of people I just wish I could hug right now... I wish the weather was better and Spring would actually come and cold a flu season would be over so all of our NICU friends would be safe again. Thinking of one little man who is back in the hospital, and hoping that he gets discharged tomorrow like his mama is hoping. 

how is this three years ago???

he loves the Easter bunny, and was only 23 months old... Now he's only 18 days shy of 5 years old. Thanks Auntie Mae for recording this!

10 years

The hubs and I have been together 10 years this summer (yet this is our 10th April together). 10 years!

Dec 2006

I wasn't even legal when we started dating, the hubs was just 19 himself. We are very different people, we grew together and became adults together, we have been parents for half of that time.

the night he proposed 

We were friends first, I was at his 19th birthday (he was dating someone else then) Good friends. We tentatively started dating, not wanting to risk ruining our friendship. But even with the conscious start, within the first week of dating he turned to me and said "I want kids, a lot of them. If you don't we should end this now before we get too invested."

"great, me too!"

the ninja's first Canada Day

I was asked this past weekend if 10 years ago at 18 did I think I would be a mother to three? Yes, I hoped I would be. The only thing I didn't see was the minivan. But that is just because I was a delusional teenager who had no idea about the sizes of carseats...

Anyways. 10 years.

My Convocation from University 

Still don't know what to do to celebrate. We should have planed a trip last year to be able to do it, so not enough time to plan that now. I know it isn't a wedding anniversary but the first 6 years of our history would be ignored if we didn't acknowledge it, including the ninja who was 18 months old at our wedding.

What would you do? How would you like to celebrate 10 years? Please help me, I need suggestions.

Dear Avery

No wonder you are cranky today, teeth #4 & #5 have erupted through the gums today.

So long buck tooth.

However, you covering your face for peekaboo makes up for any crankiness.

Avery - just after getting home 

memory

I was just thinking about Rhys' godmother today. Love and miss her a lot since she moved, and was glad to see her this past December when she came for a visit.

kisses at the wedding 

I was getting ready to call the in-laws and dialed her parents number by mistake. I caught myself before getting through, but it was interesting how your memory can work and let itself be known. I wasn't even paying any attention to the numbers just let my fingers move...

DH's 27th birthday

Miss you Kelly! 

her 19th birthday, we look so young!

So, are you done?

I have been asked this question 6 times in the last 12 hours.

I was at the airport last night picking up my in-laws and saw one of my NICU mama friends with her twin girls (kids  # 3 & # 4) and she asked after talking for some time "so are you done?"

My 3 hands with my rings at 2 months

Today, Gwen had a physio appointment. Her physio therapist asked at the end of the appointment (a mother of 3 herself) "so are you done?"

Leaving physio I met 3 other NICU mama's and a nurse at different times walking out of the hospital. During each conversation "so, are you done?"

First pic of all three together 

Each time, I know what they are asking without them finishing the question. Are you done having kids? its a complex question for a preemie parent. Most I talk to say "never again!" they never want to risk reliving the NICU. Never want to risk loosing a baby. Never want to go through the roller-coaster of it all. I too was worried about the possibility of reliving the NICU, but mostly I was worried about what another NICU stay would do to my kids. Rhys had a really hard time with being away from his sisters for so long. And eventually me too, I always tried to visit the girls while he was at daycare or asleep but eventually when I started bf I needed to spend most of my time at the hospital. It would be a lot harder to leave 3 kids at home each day or if I needed bedrest again... its hard to think about. DH would need to be able to drive. That would make it easier for the family regardless of bedrest/NICU or nothing. But I have realized that even with the possibility of it all happening again, I will be followed a lot closer that we will discover the issue before it gets bad.

first pic home of all three

Today however I realized that the question has changed. Before today I was asked "you are done, right?" see the difference? It is not really a question. They assumed that due to the fact that I had three kids, due to the fact that I had twins, due to the fact that they were preemies, due to the fact that we spent so much time in/at the hospital, whatever, that we wouldn't want anymore kids. And I think that question was more upsetting. Why is it that you think that we can't handle it. Its our life. Our family. I think now that we are being asked instead "are you done?" is an indication that people are realizing that we are handling it. That or that the girls are now old enough to ask about another baby...

So, are we done?

I honestly don't know.

We always said we wanted at least three, and we would reevaluate. We tried to work out if there would be # 4 by the girls first birthday but we still weren't there emotionally.

I'm happy with my three. Extremely so. I feel more calm and at peace as a mother with my three then I ever did with my one. I am more at ease taking care of many then few. I am calm and happy with the dynamic of our family.

Would I be sad if # 4 happened? No, never. Would I be sad if 4 doesn't happen? No, not really?

pic for Fathers day

If # 4 would happen, he/she will have to wait. We owe a little bit of money, not much other then the car and the house, but we would want it all payed off (except the house/car) before # 4. If I get a part time job that works around DH's schedule, it would be payed off and we would have a nice bit of savings too in a year. DH would need his licence too, I'm not being the solo driver for a family of 6. 

my three this summer past

The other side of the coin is getting pregnant with # 4. It took 2 years for the girls, the older I get the worse that can. Will I want to relive the newborn stage in 3-4 years or more? Or adding another personality to our working dynamic, what happens if # 4 trows the balance off?

Christmas pic of my three

I know that I am not ready to say "no never again" but will I be then?

It is hard. It is a hard decision to make and we are not ready to make it.

So if you want to ask, "are you done?" that is the answer.

Happy Due Date to you!

April 2, 2012 was the girls due date, a whole 103 days after they were born.

I remember singing "happy due date to you, happy due date to you, happy due date dear Gwen/Avery, happy due date to you" at each of their bedsides.

Gwen - April 2, 2012

Gwen - March 30, 2013

Avery - April 2, 2012

Avery - March 30, 2013

 Happy one year adjusted to my little 15 month old's! Mommy loves you so much

Gwen, Mommy & Avery - March 30, 2013

* Disclaimer- Gwen had here HA in, but it was too loud/crowded/messy at egg painting to keep them in, just not in these pics. 4 one year old's with water based egg dye is not conducive to HA ;) *